Who is the Abuser And Why
The abuser could be anyone close to the child, i.e. it could be the Father,
the Mother, the Uncle, the Neighbor, the care-taker, the teacher, a family
friend or anybody that can have a close contact with the child.
"It is a sad irony that many abusers genuinely love their children, but they
find themselves caught in life situations beyond their control and they do not
know how to cope. They are often isolated from friends and family and may have
no one to give them emotional support. They may not like themselves and may not
know how to get their emotional needs met" (National Committee for the
Prevention of Child Abuse).
Personal or Family Factors:
Child Abuse is not limited a certain category of people be it ethnic,
religion, creed, class or nationality. Abuse is found in all of these
categories. However, the lower the economical income the more are the chances of
child abuse occurrence.
Abusing fathers or mothers normally tend to be lonesome, lacking parental
feelings; feel isolated from their soundings or beholds greater expectations
from their children and subsequently tries hard to control their kids even with
harsh means.
Child Abuse is most likely associated with the shattered families and family
with in house violence. Most husbands battering their wives tend to also abuse
their children. The same is equally true for mothers undergoing consistent
family violence, as they tend to also abuse their kids.
Any external factors that could raise the family tension such as unemployment
could also raise the level of possible child abuse.
The lack of proper up bringing principles and the unrealistic expectation of
the kids in school or other fields could raise the potential of child abuse.
Children from unexpected or unplanned pregnancy or kids with special physical
needs and limited handy cape limitations tend to be abused more than others.
Fathers and mothers whom were abused in their childhood are likely to become
abusers. Certainly not all parents abused at their childhood will become
abusers, as there are a great number whom managed to overcome the problem and
are very successful in their families.
Fathers and mothers consistently afraid of loosing the grip over their kids
tend to do so by all means including abuse.
The Victims
Child abuse could even occur before the child delivery and that is when the
mother takes harmful drugs especially at the first two months of pregnancy. The
father battering his pregnant waif will also have an effect on the child’s
growth and health.
Infants and juveniles are the most abused category in the children range. The
effect of abuse is inversely proportional to the child age, i.e. the younger is
the child the more damaging the effect is going to be.
Abused kids tend to fail in their academic education and also tend to become
isolated and would not easily interact in the society especially with their
peers. Unfortunately, most likely this will be the case when they are grown ups.
Emotionally and physically abused kids are often found rough in their day to
day dealings. The combination of those two types of abuse is most destructive to
the child’s self esteem and the way he or she views the society.
Abused children are at high risk of becoming the future abusers or develop
criminal behaviors.
Women whom have a track history of abuse during their childhood are likely to
safer depression, low self esteem and considering suicidal thoughts.
It is essential for both the kids and the parents to know how best is it
handle the strangers. This is for two main reasons: Firstly, providing the kid
the required skills to protect himself from abduction and secondly, to settle
down any worries that both the parents and the kids might have with regards to
the possibilities of their kid being abducted by a stranger.
It has been customary for the parents to worn their kids from the potential
danger of strangers, yet kids still do not take this warning seriously as they
do not appreciate the real threat. This dictates that both the kids and the
parents should be aware of the best ways to minimize the risks with strangers.
The strangers intending to abuse children normally do so by abducting kids
whom are not related to them. Therefore, those types of abusers do not intend to
establish long term relationships with the kid like it is the case with the
relative type of abusers. The stranger abuser see the victim as a temporary mean
to satisfy his desires and they normally target helpless kids to achieve their
goals.
The tricks those type of abusers use to attract the victim attention consists
of asking the kid help, flattering and complementation, offering sweets or toys.
Rarely they ever try to abduct a child without seducing him or her and that is
where the danger lay as kids can easily be attracted to nice behaving people.
The worst stranger abusers are the type fond with kids sexual molestation and
they normally make themselves available where kids normally gather for fun like
in fast food restaurants, malls, cinema plazas etc. Most of the time they abuse
the kids in the rest rooms or any place where they could be isolated with a kid
and they let the kid go away once they are satisfied. They for some reasons
prefer boys, and this is confirmed by hundreds of reports recorded with the
police authorities.
It is difficult to distinguish those abusers or what their intentions are. It
is therefore better for unaccompanied kids to be made distanced away from the
potential risky places. This of course is the parents responsibility. It is also
the parents responsibility to provide the necessary awareness to their kids with
respect to the possible risks and how to react when necessary.
The more we talk with our kids about the potential dangers associated with
strangers, it would not be surprising that their perceptions of the strangers
might end up ambiguous and unclear. Kids tend to view people as bad or good.
Trying to educate the kids to not to take sweets from stringers, do not reply to
strangers, be careful of strangers and so on is a an arduous task to the parent
and the kids.
Trying to scare the kids of strangers like telling them that they “Should not
talk to strangers as they will take you away in their car and we will not see
you again’” is of little use as you would only scare the kid without providing
the necessary protection required.
The most effective way is to provide the kids with the required awareness
while maintaining their freedom and welfare and that is what the “Be Free”
project of the Bahrain Women Society is aiming for. Do encourage you kids to
visit our site on WWW.be-free.info
Help you kids understand that it is difficult to ascertain the nature of the
people by the way they look and that they should learn how to practice the basic
rules of safety and caution especially with the strangers.
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